Lily Quinn reminds me of someone else I know very well. She is troubled by her past and refuses to accept things she can’t understand. She is worried about her future, not sure how she will ever be able to move on from where she is.
As a result, her present reality is a constant battle to forget, and yet hold on at the same time. True, it’s a paradox, but how often are we stuck watching re-runs of our lives? How many times do we put ourselves through the ringer for things that we did in the past? How badly do we want to run away, and yet we just can’t seem to stand still?
The girl I know used to be angry. She was so unwilling to share her pain that she chose instead to inflict it on everyone else. One day, it became too much. She could no longer hold it inside. She could no longer run away from herself. She could no longer hide who she used to be. The harsh mask of indifference that she had tried to wear for so long finally cracked and fell off. She cried and finally asked for help. She set all her burdens on the ground, and this time she left them there for God to pick up. The faith she had tried to kill because she couldn’t understand it was the faith that saved her life.
I’ve seen her around lately, and you wouldn’t believe how she’s changed. Does she still struggle? Absolutely. Does she still question things? All the time. But instead of running to far away places, she runs to God. She drops all of the pain, memories, and confusion in His hands. It’s funny, because all of a sudden, life doesn’t seem so scary anymore. Feelings and emotions are no longer chains, instead they are gifts she can use to help others who are now where she has been.
The girl is me.
This beautiful story is from one of our readers.